Have you and your friend fallen for the same guy/gal?

There’s that cute guy/gal you like. H’mm, it could become serious. You really think this is the right person for you. And just as you begin to dream of togetherness and undying love, you realize that you are not the only one who thinks s/he is cute. Your best friend thinks so too!

It can be very daunting. On the one hand, you feel the stirrings of love, and on the other, you can’t imagine hurting or betraying your best pal by taking away the person s/he likes. Yes, love triangles are common in real life too, not just in movies. So, how do you deal with the situation? Here are some tips:

  • Talk it out

It is difficult to talk about such an awkward subject with your friend, no matter how close you are. But there is no point in avoiding this discussion, or hoping the problem will go away. It will be much better if you muster the courage to have a clear talk with your pal. In the long run, it is easier if you deal with the issue in the early stages, rather than wait till both of you are dreaming of marriage!

  • Talk with an open mind

When you go for a discussion, remember it is a discussion, not a point-proving exercise. Don’t start the topic defensively. Don’t try to prove to your friend how s/he is wrong in harbouring feelings of love for the person you love too. Don’t try to make your friend guilty. Do try to state the problem matter-of-factly, and then decide what is to be done next.


  • Check out compatibility

While talking it out with your friend, check out which of you is more compatible with the guy/gal of your dreams. Make a list of reasons why you like this guy/gal and compare it with the list of your friend. Which of you has more in common with him/her? Do you have the same hobbies, the same likes and dislikes, beliefs, political ideology? These things are very important to maintain a relationship beyond the initial attraction period. If you feel you are not as compatible with him/her, as your friend is, the decision is obvious.

  • Let him/her decide

Another way to decide is to involve the guy/gal as well in the discussion. If all three of you are mature enough to talk it out, it would lead to the best outcome. Which of you does s/he like more? The matter can be resolved so much better if you find out the answer to that.


  • Walk away

And if nothing works, just walk away. It is not worth it to risk a friendship. Look at it this way: you do not know the guy/gal that well yet. But you know your friend very well. Other guys/gals will come into your life. Take it easy.


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