He is pressurizing you to get intimate — but are you ready?


Times are changing – nowadays, girls and boys get together, date, and even get physically intimate way before they get married. And they may not even marry each other, but may move on to other relationships. In Indian metros, it is not unusual to find high school kids having girlfriends/boyfriends.

That is fine, but what if one partner wants to get intimate, but the other is not ready? Usually, it is the boys who are ready for sex, while many girls feel they are not ready for that big step. Sometimes, both talk it out and reach a mutual understanding. They may decide to wait. Or they may just jump into the sack. But sometimes, girls feel they have to give in just for the sake of keeping the relationship alive. Oftentimes, boys take advantage of the emotional nature of girls, and pressurize them into having sex.

If you are faced with this situation, what will you do? While there is no one-size-fits-all solution, here are some tips for you to deal with the scenario.

Don’t give in just because you must

It is natural to want a relationship to continue, especially if you like each other, and are happy with the way things are going. But no relationship is worth doing what you do not want to do. If you are not ready for sex, tell your guy you need time to think. Then tell him you are not ready and he needs to respect your feeling. It is quite possible your boyfriend will not take it well. He may start tightening the emotional screws. Statements such as, “If you loved me, you would understand how badly I want this”, or “I am so frustrated, I need a release”, or even “If you are not ready, then I can’t wait forever for you” will start floating around.

This is a tough time for a girl. You may feel it is not worth it having all the fights and blue moods, and, anyway, eventually you have to do it, so why not now. But that would be wrong. It would mean that you have allowed your boyfriend to emotionally blackmail you. Tell him that you will not give in to pressure and emotional blackmail will not work.

Is the relationship worth it?

And if he still keeps at it, ask yourself this: Is this relationship even worth it? Young girls often feel that this is the only guy they will ever meet, this is the only relationship they will ever have, this is their one true love, etc, etc. Nothing could be farther than the truth. There will always be other guys. Look at it this way: if you had not met your boyfriend, would your life be empty and meaningless? Of course not! You would have been your normal self, and eventually, you would have met someone or the other. Maybe later in life. So, even if you end the relationship with your current boyfriend, you will always meet other guys.

This, however, does not mean that you should not try to save your relationship. Try, by all means. Just don’t get stuck in it if it is not worth it.



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